Crippled Jokes (The Best Of)

(1) Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
(2) How do crippled’s make love? They rub their crutches together.
(3) Why did the disabled man get washed in the kitchen sink? Because thats were you are meant to wash vegetables.
(4) What do you tell a woman in a wheelchair? Nothing, she’s already been told.
(5) What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair? Park and Ride.
(6) A guy is walking on the beach one day, and comes across a girl with no arms and no legs. She is crying, so he ask her, “Why are you crying?” She replies, “I have never been hugged before.” So he picks her up and gives her a big hug. The next day he is walking on the same beach, and he sees the same girl crying, so he walks up to her and ask her again. She replies, “Well I have never been kissed before.” So he leans over and gives her a big kiss. The 3rd day he is again walking on the same beach, and the same lady is crying and the man can’t figure out why? He has hugged her and kissed her. So he walks over and ask her for the 3rd time, “Why are you crying now?” She responds, “We”, I have never been fucked before.” The man says “Ok”, so he picks her up, and throws her in the water and says “Well not your Fucked.”

If you have some better Jokes, Feel free to add a comment and share with the world.

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75 thoughts on “Crippled Jokes (The Best Of)

  1. your fucken jokes suck like a fucken 2 dollar hooker
    you should be ashamed of yourself s
    i hope you all die and spend all eternity in hell
    while the devil fucks you in your ass with
    fired up dick

    1. Relax isaac – I am in a wheelchair and I find them very funny.. You have to laugh at situation in life. if you can’t laugh what can you do.. And also a good christian should never speak like you just did.. That is worse than what you are complaining about.. Relax, take a chill pill and laugh at things in life. You will live longer

      1. u must spend 2 much time on the computer hahahahahaha
        do u need a hand with the computer or do u just need 2 legs

    2. dude im in a wheelchair and i find this freakin hilarious!!! i make fun of myself all the time, and my friends laugh right along with me. Mick i agree with u, i think laughter is a good way to get over things 🙂

  2. a woman places an ad in the paper: “single woman seeks a man who doesnt chase skirt, who is not a groper, and is well endowed.” some days later she hears a loud knock on the door: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK She opens and there is a man with no arms and no legs. She says what do you want, he says I’m here for the ad. She says are you sure to fit the description? He says: i have no legs so i can’t chase skirt, i have no arms so i can’t grope. She says: are you well endowed? He says: what do you think i used to knock on the door?!

  3. Three guys are on an airplane flying to America from the middle east when the plane crashes in the desert. They are the only three who survive. One has but one leg. Another is blind. The third is in a wheelchair. They head out to look for help, one-legged man leading while the blind man pushes the guy in the wheelchair.

    Eventually, they come to an oasis. The one-legged man hops as fast as he can, splashes into the water, takes down a few big gulps, and walks out the other side. Lo and behold! New leg.

    Hearing about this astonishing development, the blind man offers to push the man in the wheelchair to the water but is told to go first. The blind man falls into the water, splashes around, takes a few big gulps, and walks out the other side. Miraculously, he can see.

    Now the guy in the wheelchair is even more determined than ever to make it. He pushes and struggles through the sand, eventually wheeling into the water. He takes a bunch of gulps and splashes around. He wheels out the other side. Lo and behold! New wheels.

    1. Yea I am a wheelchair and I do speeches to stand up for the people in wheelchairs and these are funny jokes

      1. yoo bruv you said your in a wheel chair but you stand up for the people Man your funny :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

  4. Q: what’s the hardest part about eating vegetables?
    A: getting them out of the wheelchair.
    ahahahahahaha!!!!!!
    your misey brings tears of joy to my eyes.

  5. Pingback: epic fails
    1. i like tea and i’m in a wheelchair,
      when i spill it on myself i get hard,
      why?
      because my wife will lick it all off.

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